8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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