I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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