meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
