Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
