We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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