You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
