do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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