he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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