He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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