sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
