You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I am naked and annoyed.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
