i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
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Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
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They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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