end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
