I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
