her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
barbara walters just said penis...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
