Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
