I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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