just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he wants to bone in the snuggie
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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