I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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