I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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