Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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