Your face is a jimmy john
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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