Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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