it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
