Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
