if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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