She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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