Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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