Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
