I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
