yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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