I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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