I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
