you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
"it" just moved
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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