So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
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At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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