You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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