As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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