It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
