last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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