I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
