I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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