I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
