what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
