The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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