sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
