I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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