I just made out with a guy for $7.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
