Already got asked if we're dating
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
