I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
