I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
