I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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