ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
