You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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