If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
