Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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