Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Less talking, more tequila
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
