Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
