a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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