apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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