WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
