did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
