So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
