WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
