If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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